In My Hours
by weatheredlaw
Summary: Time for many is fleeting. For Richard Alpert, time is endless. AU-ish
1. The Wayward Brother

**A/N:** Oh, the history of Richard. I've heard from Nestor Carbonell that we should get some history on him in season 6, but he's not sure. He also claimed that Michael Emerson knew the ending and he doesn't so...yeah.

**Chapter 1: The Wayward Brother**

_December, 1974_

He wakes up to the same air each morning. Every morning has been relatively the same. Sometimes there is danger. Sometimes there is rain. Sometimes there are other people there with him. Lately, he is alone. The canvas of his tent is damp. It rained in the middle of the night, but he knows that. He was awake for most of it. Sleep these nights is hard to come by. Jacob is restless and, by extension, so is Richard.

"Something is coming."

"Something? Or someone?"

"Both, perhaps. Or one. I'm not entirely sure."

"You're not sure or you don't want to tell me?" The look in Jacob's eyes tells all. Sometimes, the future is fuzzy. It frustrates the man. He works through sleepless nights on his tapestry, threading it himself, making the fabric. Richard finds it hard not to be impressed with Jacob and is frustrated when he is and doesn't want to be. Lately, it is a bit of the latter.

He has let himself go as of late. Hair unkempt, face rarely shaved, hands dirty. Eloise and Charles have split the group into two at Jacob's orders. Each day, the DHARMA people grow bolder. The sonic fence is fully operational. It keeps most things and people out, but not Richard. He sneaks into their territory at night, gaining information. Jacob chides him for it, but even at his age, Richard's curiosity sometimes gets the best of him. He steals their food sometimes, hording Apollo bars and cans of fruit. He feels like a child who has robbed a candy store. Giddy and high as he sucks the syrup from cans by the light of the fire. He shares some peaches with Jacob and tells them about new recruiting efforts.

"Life here is getting more complicated."

"That's your doing, is it not?" Jacob nods.

"Yes, but sometimes I over extend myself." Richard understands this.

Sometimes he does as well.

This morning, he wakes up alone, sleeping only a few hours the night before. His dark eyes betray none of the tossing and turning that accompanied the rain storm the night before. He looks refreshed enough, but inside, he is exhausted. Over the fire, he heats strong coffee, enjoying the briskness of the early morning. He has long since lost count of the years he's been on the island, but he can still remember the first time he opened his eyes and saw the piercing blue of the sky above him. Still remembers the very first drink of water he took from a stream in the middle of the forest. But all that happened in another time, long long ago. No one from his original lifetime is alive on this Earth. That thought used to make him feel lonely, until the island became his homeland, the people brought there its natives. And suddenly, he wasn't alone anymore.

Footsteps sound behind him. Pulling the pistol from his belt, he spins around. A man in a dark shirt is there. "At ease, Ricardus, please." Richard scowls.

"What do you want, Esau?" The man in black chuckles warmly.

"Some coffee might be nice." Reluctantly, Richard shares his other mug. He has been warned by Jacob that another visit from his wayward brother was coming soon, he just didn't know when. Esau sits across the fire from Richard, a small smile curved around the edge of his lips. "Lovely morning. After a rain, it's always nice."

"You're not here to make small talk. What is it you want?"

"Always to the point Richard. I like that." Esau sips the coffee, wincing at the heat, then smiles. "Something is coming." Richard sighs. "I know you know that. But things are about to change on this island. Those people, those scientists, they think they know what they're doing, but they don't." Richard nods. "And there will be others, but not for a few years. Jacob knows this. We've discussed this. But they will cause trouble. And whatever happens Richard, you must not let them do what they plan to do." Richard glances up quickly.

"Have you spoken to Jacob about this last part?" Esau shakes his head.

"It's out secret." Richard's stomach feels uneasy. He doesn't like secrets with this man, but he is worried of the consequences he or Jacob may suffer if he reveals this information. What his people may suffer. "Jacob must never know." He fixes Richard with a fierce gaze and Richard understands.

The island has many masters. He must serve them all.


	2. The Black Rock

**A/N:** Time skips ftw.

**Chapter 2: The Black Rock**

_April, 1845_

Richard watches Esau leave the beach, then steps into the sand from behind a thicket of trees. Jacobs turns and smiles at him. "Morning, Richard."

"Good morning." Richard's eyes travel out to the ship. "You're bringing more?" Jacob nods. Richards nods, too, because he always must agree with Jacob. He understands the man, what he wants out of people, what he needs. "I'll be sure to take care of them as best I can."

"Thank you, Richard. Fish?" Richard nods and takes some, savoring the delicate taste. Soon, he'll have to teach the survivors to hunt and fish and scavenge for food. The prospect makes him tired. Already, he feels the aches and pains of dealing with tired and testy people from a world he has long since left behind. "I believe them to be English. It's a trade ship."

"What's it named?"

"The _Black Rock_."

- - - - - - - - -

He holds himself to a high standard, Richard does. When Jacob gives him an order, he expects himself to fulfill it. To do his duties.

When the entire crew of the _Black Rock_ dies, he feels as though he has failed.

"Progress, Richard," Jacob says as the he bites back the anger boiling in his veins. How many times? How many deaths? How many ships?

"Esau. He-"

"Blame is not a dish to be passed about. I prefer it not be shared at all. This is life." Richard shakes his head and stands. Jacob is at work on his tapestry. It is moving along smoothly. Richard fights the urge to tear it to pieces. He's sure Jacob senses his distress and hears the man stand. Soft hands rest on his shoulders. "Patience, Richard. Perhaps it is time you traveled off the island."

"How?"

"A boat. You could build one." Richard shrugs. The thought is tempting. And he could, if he tried, build a strong boat. But he doesn't want to. Doesn't want to leave just yet. The island is his home. For many years it has been. Countless years. Years that have blended steadily into one another to a point where Richard's past is a long blur of days and nights. He clenches his fists and stands.

"I'll stay for a while longer. Wait for the next group." Jacob smiles. He likes that Richard believes in what he says. Likes that he has even just a small bit of confidence in his goals.

Richard wishes he didn't believe the things Jacob said, but he finds it hard to disagree with the man who brought him back from the dead.

- - - - - - - - - -

He sleeps alone each night, but there are times when people come and he camps with them. Ten years after the _Black Rock_ crew dies, another ship lands on the island. They are colonizers and they think they've found the land they've been looking for. One by one, they begin to die. Richard watches with as much apathy as possible, but sometimes he can't. There are women with them. He has met one. She is a slave and Richard knows very few African languages. He calls her Eva. She calls him Richa because she has trouble with r's and d's. He likes her. Her skin is dark and smooth and she feels good to hold. She is an excellent lover. A good kisser. He treats her as his equal and she respects and begins to love him for that.

But he cannot stop Esau or the island. And some time later, she dies.

He is not broken hearted about this. It was bound to happen sooner or later. He has only been hoping for something much later.

"Women are complicated. They make you feel strange things." Richard nods as he watches Jacob move from one side of his home to another. "They left their ship. I think you should take it and sail to the mainland. Get off the island for a few months. You can find your way back." Richard nods, because he knows he can.

So he takes the ship and sails to Fiji.

He knows he seems strange, a man sailing a slave ship into a harbor, but it is empty and he has his story. His eyes make sit difficult for people to mistrust him. They are weathered and old and people know that he's seen many things he'd rather not speak of. Richard uses this to his advantage and gets the things he needs. He travels for a few weeks, relishing in the sights and sounds of the world around him. His old world has vanished, but this one is bright and new. He picks up a few new languages here and there, a skill he has been given by Jacob. He wants to go to Africa and learn her language, but there is little time. Jacob needs him back, so he leaves.

The island is has he left it, but Jacob is raging against his brother.

"He won't be satisfied until I'm dead," he whispers quietly, pacing. "He can't do it, but he's smart. He'll find a way." Richard can only nod and try to offer words of comfort. But little can comfort Jacob. "I will bring more people. Prove him wrong." And Richard feels the tired feeling set in once more. He leaves the statue and heads to his tent, falling into the comfort of solitude once more. He feels refreshed for a moment, the coolness of the tarp above him shading him, the whiteness of it all. In this place, he is complete.

"Glad to have you back, Ricardus." Esau's voice pierces in calm and he sits up, finding the man outside his tent.

"Did you miss me that much?" Esau smiles and sits on the floor of the tent, much to Richard's annoyance. "You've angered him again. Why?"

"I will kill him, one day." Richard nods. He learned a long time ago not to argue with the word of the island's leaders. Esau wanted to kill Jacob. Jacob wanted to prove his brother wrong. Life was never ending in this way. A cycle. "That's why I'm here."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Richard. I want you to kill Jacob."


	3. The Brave One

**A/N: **Oh Esau. :3 So....my justification of Richard speaking ancient German is the name "Richard" itself, which was originally a very old German name. So it doesn't make sense in my mind for Richard to have been of Roman decent. This makes this setting about the 12th or 13th century. I believe Richard to be VERY old, older than the _Black Rock_, so that's what all this is. Old German can be called Gothic, Vandalic, etc.. but it wasn't called that until much later. So Richard speaks a very old German. Why he's on an island? I honestly do not know.

**Chapter 3: The Brave One**

_A very, very long time ago_

Blood fills his chest. He's been sick for days, coughing and spitting and heaving. He's the last one left. Left of the small group of men and women from a place that no longer has a name. No longer has borders. His skin is pale and his body shifts from bone-cold to scorching. Low moans escape his throat, gurgles and bouts of vomiting blood. He's from a time so old, he doesn't understand that the wound on his side is what has done this to him. He thinks he's being punished.

The man falls to his hands and knees and gives one final heave before collapsing, dead, on the ground.

When he wakes up, he breathes in deep. No blood. No drowning. He cries out for someone, the ancient German words falling off his lips roughly and painfully. He feels alive, but the fever persists. A cool hand runs a wet rag over his forehead and comforts him in his native tongue.

"Hush, Ricardus." It is a name he does not recognize, but he no longer remembers the one he had before. "If you rest, this will progress much more smoothly." He shivers and tries to be still. A feeling rushes through him, like the poison is being removed. A smile face above. "See? Rest now. You'll feel better if you do." Perhaps it is the voice of this man. Perhaps it is exhaustion. Ricardus falls asleep on the warm stone floor of a room he's never seen before.

Some time later, he hears footsteps. But they do not belong to the man who saved him. The heaviness of them is different. The sound of this man's breathing is strange. Labored. There is anger there. He kneels down. Reaches forward with one, slightly trembling hand, and is about to place it on Ricardus' chest, when the other man's voice rings across the chamber.

"He isn't yours."

"You! I told you-"

"Leave your anger for another time, brother. He is not yours."

"So he belongs to you?" The other man shrugs.

"Go home, Esau. You can try and bring him to your side some other time." The man called Esau stands quickly and casts one final look at Ricardus, then leaves. "You'll have to forgive my brother. He can be very... aggressive." He uses the word carefully. "I'm glad you're awake. You seem to be doing better."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Jacob. And you are Ricardus."

"That's not my name."

"Do you remember your name?"

"I-" He stops. Again, he doesn't recall what he was once called. Time before the illness is blurry and chopped together.

"I have decided to call you Richard, but Latin is my native tongue. It sounds better that way for me. But I will call you Richard, if you'd like."

"Richard."

"Yes."

"What does it mean?"

"It means brave."

- - - - - - - - - -

Richard begins his new life on the island by learning Jacob's language. "You learn quickly. This is good."

"Why do you speak Latin?" Jacob shrugs.

"Why do you speak what you speak?" Richard shrugs, too and that is enough of that. He is learning that Jacob is a simple man. One of great wisdom and one of many mysteries. Richard has not asked how he was saved and, truth be told, he doesn't really want to know. The fact that he is alive is a miracle and he doesn't question it. But he feels something else, inside. Something lasting and permanent. He's not sure what it is, but he's not curious enough to ask Jacob about much of anything.

But time passes. Days fade to weeks, then months. Two years pass. Two years with no questions, no curiosity, no wonders. Richard begins to feel nervous. He heals quickly from small wounds that should linger for weeks. He feels stationary in his own body.

And he wants to know how to get off the island.

It is either the bravery instilled in him by his new name, or the stupidity that he has yet to discard of that leads him to Jacob's home in the crumbling statue. He goes there often, but not with demands. Never asking for answers to questions he's never bothered bringing up before. And Jacob, being Jacob, knows he's coming.

"You have questions." Richard nods. "I have some answers." He beckons the dark-eyed man inside. They sit. "You want to go home. But I can't allow that." Richard opens his mouth to protest, but Jacob holds up a hand. "Your life was saved on this island. You serve it now, for as long as you live. When the time comes, you may visit the rest of the world, but that time is not now." He feels empty, suddenly cut off from the rest of the world. "Someday, I will want you to travel, for the world will change greatly over your lifetime and you will be witness to many startling things?

"How-"

"You are going to live for a very, _very_ long time Richard."

And of all the news he has received, this makes him feel the worst.

"You may think this is a burden, and it is. But it is also a gift. You have the gift of eternal life. And one that will be rich in people and experiences."

"People?" Richard says, harsher than he meant. But Jacob is not fazed, smiling as he nods.

"I will bring people here, just as I brought yours. And I will prove that they are good. And you're going to help me do that. Do you understand?" Richard looks into the blue eyes in front of him. So much is in contrast here. Jacob and his brother. Richard's eyes and his master's. Things are strange and reflected. But he can't say no, not to the man who gave him life, however, punished by this "gift" he feels.

"I understand."

"Good. Now come with me. We have work to do."


	4. The Faltered Fear

**A/N:** Weee! Moarrrr time skips. Mmmm, please review? People keep favoriting the story, but no one's reviewing. Some nice feedback (or not nice) would be, well, nice!

**Chapter 4: The Faltered Fear**

_August, 1959_

Eloise is angry. And he understands why. She is young and hot-headed and wants to do things her way, but Charles is formidable competition. Richard must choose between them. If he chooses Charles, he has Ellie's rage hovering over him. If he chooses Eloise, Charles will assume they're sleeping together. Not that Richard doesn't think about that, but it would be inappropriate.

"How so?" Jacob wonders.

"She could be the leader."

"And that makes it not okay?" Richard shrugs. "I think you should choose the woman. I have seen them both and I like her better." Jacob is thoughtful, but Richard grins. He knows the man he serves well. They share a small laugh, one of the many things in short supply these days. "But regardless of her beauty, she is a capable woman and very determined. A bit stubborn, but that might be what we need. If she cannot perform her duties, then Charles may step in."

Charles is unhappy at playing the second-in-command to Eloise, but the girl is pleased. She gives Richard small smiles here and there, flaming the anger and frustration in Charles. He knows the younger man is attracted to her, but he's exactly that: too young. Eloise is wiser than Charles, for reasons Richard isn't quite sure of. He has much growing up to do until he can win her heart. And Richard allies with no one. Which is what lets him allow Eloise to kiss him and run her hands over his shoulders and smile softly.

"Why did you choose me?"

"Jacob wanted you." She frowns. "You should feel proud. He thinks you'll be a capable leader."

"But what do _you_ think?"

"I think we should get you out of those clothes." She smiles wryly at him and complies. Everyone is asleep as he makes sure the tent flap will not open. Ellie acts hungry as she pulls his shirt off and plants hot and desperate kisses on his bare shoulders. But Richard is not one to submit and he claims her quickly. Finally touching her makes him feel lighter. He can't help but smile when she says his name, swallows her cries, kisses his neck. Afterward, he runs his hands along her hip and she shivers and whispers that she wants him again. He complies.

Their numbers have grown over the years. Jacob is pleased and feels as though things are finally going according to his plan. He was unfazed by the visitors three years earlier claiming to be from the future. And he is not afraid of the bomb. Not like Richard is. Things from the outside world make him uneasy. His visits there are few and far between. The last time he went was to visit the infant John Locke. He wasn't sure what he expected to see, but it was just a child. A child and a confused mother. He speaks of these things to Eloise as she falls asleep. In the morning, he is not ashamed to leave her tent. And no one says much of anything because he is Richard and he can see Jacob.

Most of them are afraid.

"They think you're some kind of creature," Ellie says quietly at night. He chuckles. A monster.

The real monster lives away from them, resting in the dark, waiting to strike.

It is the summer when he visits. A hush falls over the camp. Richard has grown braver over the years. He steps out to meet him, angry. His people have never seen him like this.

"This is not your place," he snarls. "Leave and I'll pretend it never happened."

"Ah, Ricardus." The name falls so smoothly from those lying lips. His people seem confused. "I don't want to pretend it never happened. Can we speak in private?"

"I have no _private_ matters with you, Esau. What you have to say to me can be said here." Esau looks stricken for a moment, and dark anger passes over his face. A smile next.

"Do you remember so many years ago, over a hundred I believe, when I asked you to do a small favor for me?"

"Out. Now."

"Now's the time," he insists.

"Widmore! Remove him!" Charles nods. He is the strongest of the men. Richard has him do the task partly because he knows this. And partly because he needs Charles on his side in the future. The relationship with Eloise will only last so long, he knows this. He knows Charles is a better man than he, but for now, he enjoys her.

Charles and his men grab Esau, who does not fight back. "Someday, Ricardus, someday you will do as I ask. And when that day comes, you cannot say I didn't tell you it would." But Richard will never betray Jacob, never lay a hand on him. He fears what may happen to his own self if Jacob were to die, and he fears what the island would become with Esau the only one left on it.

Sometimes, Richard is more terrified than he lets the others believe.

Eloise can sense it on him, on the nights where he is weak and falters a bit when laying his palms over her skin, his kisses not so harsh, his movements not so thoughtful. "You're acting strange," she murmurs, running her hands through her hair and gripping the dark strands as he kisses her thigh, runs his tongue through her center. She moans and brings him up to her. "What is it? Richard?" But he is suddenly distracted, looking beyond and through her, feeling that strange feeling again. That feeling of attachment. He smiles at her and realizes she is never meant to be his completely. And someday, she'll know that, too. But for now, they can pretend to own the nights they spend together. For now, Richard can pretend he has a limit on his life. And no one can judge him for that.

Not Jacob.

And certainly not Esau.


End file.
